A tribute to Papa!

There was a time when you breathed life into my broken spirit. You held my hand as I faltered struggling with my circumstances. You made me believe in goodness. You believed in the greatness of my destiny as I struggled with my truncated happiness!

And now you are no more! I look for you in dark corners. They advise to keep the lights on while sleeping. I make the room completely dark just to get a glimpse of you dear Papa! Where are you? I don’t even see you in my dreams. It’s as if I have lost touch with you completely.

It feels cold around the heart. The kind of dank coldness that one feels in gothic structures that’s empty. I have been so used to the glowing warmth that I took it for granted. And now every morning when I get up and I don’t see you about….its a struggle to focus on the regular.
Your glasses…your cell phone….your jacket…your slippers. I have hidden them away like treasures.

How I wish I could sit in a corner all by myself & cry. Grieve my loss!

But there are things to do. Look after the relatives that are pouring in by the dozen. Everyone has a tale to share about their association with you. A sentiment that stings the eye! A respect that makes me proud!

You were the nucleus of the family binding everyone with your rather mawkish emotions. You showered love & expected no less. I sometimes felt overwhelmed! You scorned at the concept of “personal space”. You just didn’t understand such intuited object of thought.

My maverick thoughts befuddled you. But I must give it to you that you tried to understand & relate to the things I cared about.

I remember your sulk last year about not writing about you more often. You were like a child who wanted constant attention. Here I am Papa….only you in my thoughts today!

I have been fortunate to be at your bedside when you breathed your last. I have been fortunate to hold that hand….talk to you….take your blessings!

I have been told to celebrate your life instead of mourning your loss. It makes sense coz you went like a king in power. I’m happy that we will remember you as the family leader and not a fallen hero.

I just want to know if you are happy wherever you are। Can you drop me a hint so I can rest assured?

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