Baba
Trying to blink away her tears Devika stood staring into the vast expanse on the waterfront. She struggled to lacerate her love for Gaurav as reality stared cruelly at her. She was caught between the two people she loved dearly…her Baba & Gaurav!
Baba had been her support system from the time she could remember. All the tantrums that little kids harass their mothers with, was experimented on Baba. Ma had died on the operation table right after her birth. For a while, Baba was lost in his own world of intense grief. After all he had loved his wife more than anything he had owned or possessed.
Brinda had been his pillar of strength & his friend all his adolescent life. They were married when they were both 16 & had practically waltzed into adulthood together holding & supporting one another against any challenges life threw at them.
Baba was the first to graduate in his family & did his entire clan proud when he landed a Government job in Bijanour. His mother would proudly flaunt this piece of news to anyone who cared to listen.
Baba & Ma lived their simple uncomplicated lives & since they didn’t have children, their house was full of the four legged varieties. Sanghamitra, the cow who was a darling, Jwala the possessive goat who followed Brinda anywhere she went & Chuniya the cat who just sat near the kitchen door & purred all day. It was only when Baba & Ma were in their mid-thirties that they were blessed with a child.
I could somehow never forgive myself for being the reason for Ma’s death. The sincere love that brimmed in Baba’s eyes every time he talked about Ma was haunting & left me restless for days. Sukanya chachi seldom failed to remind me how misfortune had befallen on our entire clan after my birth.
My childhood was spent in Baba’s lap listening to the stories of great courage of Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose. I remember clearly when Netaji died….Baba didn’t eat for days walking around listlessly looking for a meaning in such happenings.
Our world was compact. Baba made sure I went to a good school. Education in his opinion was the most valuable possession anyone could have. It was a treasure that could pull you through any hardships…he said.
I graduated with an engineering degree & landed a job in Mumbai. This was a city that everyone loved to hate. The pace was sometimes baffling. Where was everyone running to? People had this unsettled expression on their faces at all times.
Baba had joined me after retirement & helped me set house. We would spend the weekends together, cooking & laughing reminiscing about incidents from my childhood. My friends loved visiting our place & getting a dose of Baba’s nurturing nature. They always seemed to be envious & mentioned how lucky I was to have him around.
Gaurav came into my life quite by chance. We had met at a conference dedicated to Asset Allocation & Arbitrage. Gaurav’s grasp over the subject & his presentation had impressed all. When he came over to my table & introduced himself, I had blushed trying to keep a straight face. We had exchanged cards & in no time we were dating.
Indeed…I was lucky! I had lived a fulfilling life & the presence of Gaurav brought a new meaning to relationships in my life. He was this rare gem who knew what was in my mind before I could spell it out. He excessively indulged & doted over me & made sure I always got what I wanted however trivial that might be.
And then Baba’s health started failing. He was in & out of hospitals & my life changed. Work seemed demanding & whatever energy was left got sapped by the many rounds to see heart specialists & take their opinions. Life became monotonous with never ending bills & hospital visits. The relatives who usually kept in touch asking favours suddenly vanished.
Gaurav was my link to sanity on days when I would be too overwhelmed to even eat. He would bring home packed food & force me to take care of myself for his sake. But I could see the increasing restlessness in his demeanour. He missed our outings & the closeness that we shared. By the end of the second month….he concluded that he felt terribly unloved.
Baba asked me daily why Gaurav didn’t visit him in the hospital. I was getting tired of cooking up stories about his outstation travels & assignments. And then one day Gaurav called & in a gelid tone said he was fed up of the whole situation. The old man had ruined both our lives. That Baba is like a thorn in our love life & I shall have to make a choice. Send Baba back to where he belongs with my other relations in the village.
Gaurav talked about the love nest that we would make together. Of how his overflowing love for me would finally see the light of day once Baba’s sent away. He expressed how he dreamed of going to exotic places. Lead a happy carefree life. And all could be possible only if I made a choice. He sounded so happy. As if he was living those dreams as he visualized naughtily how he would satiate his urges.
At the other end though, Gaurav’s voice is fading. Devika has already made her decision. She can see the future. There will be loneliness and regret of what might have been, but there will also be the satisfaction of having stood by her principle. She thinks of the sacrifices Baba had made to give her a good education & mould her into the confident individual that she is. The dreams Baba had for his beloved daughter. This brings unbidden tears to her eyes. The future that she can see plainly now doesn’t have Gaurav in it. A future that has a foundation based on principles. A life that will make her proud! A loneliness that may sometimes tug at her heart & make her miserable! But a wisdom that would blaze her path with goodness!
Copyright © BuntysBanter 2007
Baba had been her support system from the time she could remember. All the tantrums that little kids harass their mothers with, was experimented on Baba. Ma had died on the operation table right after her birth. For a while, Baba was lost in his own world of intense grief. After all he had loved his wife more than anything he had owned or possessed.
Brinda had been his pillar of strength & his friend all his adolescent life. They were married when they were both 16 & had practically waltzed into adulthood together holding & supporting one another against any challenges life threw at them.
Baba was the first to graduate in his family & did his entire clan proud when he landed a Government job in Bijanour. His mother would proudly flaunt this piece of news to anyone who cared to listen.
Baba & Ma lived their simple uncomplicated lives & since they didn’t have children, their house was full of the four legged varieties. Sanghamitra, the cow who was a darling, Jwala the possessive goat who followed Brinda anywhere she went & Chuniya the cat who just sat near the kitchen door & purred all day. It was only when Baba & Ma were in their mid-thirties that they were blessed with a child.
I could somehow never forgive myself for being the reason for Ma’s death. The sincere love that brimmed in Baba’s eyes every time he talked about Ma was haunting & left me restless for days. Sukanya chachi seldom failed to remind me how misfortune had befallen on our entire clan after my birth.
My childhood was spent in Baba’s lap listening to the stories of great courage of Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose. I remember clearly when Netaji died….Baba didn’t eat for days walking around listlessly looking for a meaning in such happenings.
Our world was compact. Baba made sure I went to a good school. Education in his opinion was the most valuable possession anyone could have. It was a treasure that could pull you through any hardships…he said.
I graduated with an engineering degree & landed a job in Mumbai. This was a city that everyone loved to hate. The pace was sometimes baffling. Where was everyone running to? People had this unsettled expression on their faces at all times.
Baba had joined me after retirement & helped me set house. We would spend the weekends together, cooking & laughing reminiscing about incidents from my childhood. My friends loved visiting our place & getting a dose of Baba’s nurturing nature. They always seemed to be envious & mentioned how lucky I was to have him around.
Gaurav came into my life quite by chance. We had met at a conference dedicated to Asset Allocation & Arbitrage. Gaurav’s grasp over the subject & his presentation had impressed all. When he came over to my table & introduced himself, I had blushed trying to keep a straight face. We had exchanged cards & in no time we were dating.
Indeed…I was lucky! I had lived a fulfilling life & the presence of Gaurav brought a new meaning to relationships in my life. He was this rare gem who knew what was in my mind before I could spell it out. He excessively indulged & doted over me & made sure I always got what I wanted however trivial that might be.
And then Baba’s health started failing. He was in & out of hospitals & my life changed. Work seemed demanding & whatever energy was left got sapped by the many rounds to see heart specialists & take their opinions. Life became monotonous with never ending bills & hospital visits. The relatives who usually kept in touch asking favours suddenly vanished.
Gaurav was my link to sanity on days when I would be too overwhelmed to even eat. He would bring home packed food & force me to take care of myself for his sake. But I could see the increasing restlessness in his demeanour. He missed our outings & the closeness that we shared. By the end of the second month….he concluded that he felt terribly unloved.
Baba asked me daily why Gaurav didn’t visit him in the hospital. I was getting tired of cooking up stories about his outstation travels & assignments. And then one day Gaurav called & in a gelid tone said he was fed up of the whole situation. The old man had ruined both our lives. That Baba is like a thorn in our love life & I shall have to make a choice. Send Baba back to where he belongs with my other relations in the village.
Gaurav talked about the love nest that we would make together. Of how his overflowing love for me would finally see the light of day once Baba’s sent away. He expressed how he dreamed of going to exotic places. Lead a happy carefree life. And all could be possible only if I made a choice. He sounded so happy. As if he was living those dreams as he visualized naughtily how he would satiate his urges.
At the other end though, Gaurav’s voice is fading. Devika has already made her decision. She can see the future. There will be loneliness and regret of what might have been, but there will also be the satisfaction of having stood by her principle. She thinks of the sacrifices Baba had made to give her a good education & mould her into the confident individual that she is. The dreams Baba had for his beloved daughter. This brings unbidden tears to her eyes. The future that she can see plainly now doesn’t have Gaurav in it. A future that has a foundation based on principles. A life that will make her proud! A loneliness that may sometimes tug at her heart & make her miserable! But a wisdom that would blaze her path with goodness!
Copyright © BuntysBanter 2007
posted by Bunty's Banter at 1:16 PM
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