Fear of the inevitable!
One of dad’s close friends died today. He was the healthiest of the bunch and a pillar of emotional support to dad when he was diagnosed with an acute heart ailment. He fired up dads desire to alive…suggested a doctor who was competent to not only save his life but also bring a new perspective for the love of life that stayed with dad and helped him slowly claw back his strength.
The barking orders resurfaced, the bellowing melodies fell back in its place each morning especially if it was someone’s birthday or an anniversary reassuring us that the normative attitude was back in full throttle in our little paradise. Not be wished and blessed by dad (he’s the oldest in our family) for any piece of news or occasion is unheard of in this fast progressing Bihari family.
He keeps abreast of the latest. Whether it’s the harvesting of pulses in his maternal village, Ramdi or the ongoing property dispute in his paternal village Salempur! Whether it’s my brother’s office politics or my cousin’s husband’s ongoing project in Germany. He holds the record of maximum hits in the search engine of our clan and anyone who wants to update their outdated version of family affairs has to type his name in the search box.
I often contemplate that he would have done well as an arbitrator. There is one little catch though. The warring parties HAVE to tow the line of action that is advised. If not…apni lutiya uthao aur dafa ho jao.*
So back to this dull ache that I’m feeling within me today! As the trees shed and acquire a new look with the progress of each season.…I struggle to come to terms with death in all its entirety. The person that passes away but of course is alive in our memories. Their little conversations….their love…their caring and their hurt…all of it neatly filed in the recesses of our mind, stacked by page breakers that are either date or occasion specific. But the real person will be gone. We will never see them again…EVER! Never be able to hear them…talk to them…touch them and most importantly…have them around when only their presence would mean a stupendous assurance.
Along with our parents…a part of us will die. An era will be gone! The link to our roots and bits and bobs about our ancestors that they cobbled together to narrate the past shall be lost…forever! With all my sapience gathered over time…..I’m still terrified just thinking about the inevitable!
* apni lutiya uthao aur dafa ho jao – take your belongings and get the hell out of my sight!
Copyright © BuntysBanter 2007
The barking orders resurfaced, the bellowing melodies fell back in its place each morning especially if it was someone’s birthday or an anniversary reassuring us that the normative attitude was back in full throttle in our little paradise. Not be wished and blessed by dad (he’s the oldest in our family) for any piece of news or occasion is unheard of in this fast progressing Bihari family.
He keeps abreast of the latest. Whether it’s the harvesting of pulses in his maternal village, Ramdi or the ongoing property dispute in his paternal village Salempur! Whether it’s my brother’s office politics or my cousin’s husband’s ongoing project in Germany. He holds the record of maximum hits in the search engine of our clan and anyone who wants to update their outdated version of family affairs has to type his name in the search box.
I often contemplate that he would have done well as an arbitrator. There is one little catch though. The warring parties HAVE to tow the line of action that is advised. If not…apni lutiya uthao aur dafa ho jao.*
So back to this dull ache that I’m feeling within me today! As the trees shed and acquire a new look with the progress of each season.…I struggle to come to terms with death in all its entirety. The person that passes away but of course is alive in our memories. Their little conversations….their love…their caring and their hurt…all of it neatly filed in the recesses of our mind, stacked by page breakers that are either date or occasion specific. But the real person will be gone. We will never see them again…EVER! Never be able to hear them…talk to them…touch them and most importantly…have them around when only their presence would mean a stupendous assurance.
Along with our parents…a part of us will die. An era will be gone! The link to our roots and bits and bobs about our ancestors that they cobbled together to narrate the past shall be lost…forever! With all my sapience gathered over time…..I’m still terrified just thinking about the inevitable!
* apni lutiya uthao aur dafa ho jao – take your belongings and get the hell out of my sight!
Copyright © BuntysBanter 2007
posted by Bunty's Banter at 1:36 AM
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