Rendezvous with a cuddly bear!
The first thing that comes to mind is "OWL". An oversized Snowy Owl ogling at me from above the rim of his midget glasses.
My friend Anchal had set me up on a blind date with this unimaginable piece of human artwork. I frown inwardly & kick myself for relenting. Outwardly a sweet smile pasted in between my ears with the edges of the mouth transfixed, threatening to spill the nausea I'm feeling within.
GOSH! I shall have to struggle to persuade the arms of the clock to jog faster to get away from this loathsome hatesome.
He's stripping me inch by inch. Has decided to do it in a descending order. Hair..eyes...mouth(stares in deep concentration)...lust..neck (fiddles with the mole to check if its real)...errr...T*ts (now the gaze is fixated)...not moving downwards...
This owl is analogous to a hyena at times. Belts of this unique chuckling noises like a hyena thats smelt blood. A snowy owl is generally chatty only during mating season. Omigosh! Owl or hyena? Christ...I'm confused. Lets leave it at that & continue further into the evening.
I'm nervously looking for my ancillary...Anchal. Has she spoofed herself from this evenings rendezvous all knowingly? I ponder seethingly.
The owl cum hyena's pupil's are again on its longitudinal journey downwards.
Hot Coffee? I'm smarting with indignation & plot to spill hot coffee over his pudgy body & escape unscatched.
He says "Yes coffee is fine...COLD COFFEE". Grrrr...there goes my impeccable plan...tossed right into the bin!
To break ice he embarks on a probing quest...the most common topic...favourite movies & before I can answer announces his is "Sholay". Excuse me? Sholay??? Ahem! He's a crossbreed, I decide. And because he's one...he's allowed to have varying choices. Comes with the genes. Hyna...Owl. Owl..hyena..my mind resonates.
Then the dialogue delivery starts. "Arre Oh Sambha, Kitne admi the" I'm feeling squearmish. He ignores any give away signs on my face & further continues with the Mausiji & Basanti dialogues. Someone save me from this verbal diarrhoea.
You B***H! (snarls the guy at the next table at his companion). "Dont ever try to get in touch. I'm through with a S**T like you". Rudely shoving the coffe table to one side, he walks out of the coffee shop.
There is a startled silence punctuated only by the wimpering sobs from the hapless girl.
The hyena jumps up & is on her side now. His arms around this stranger, pacifying her, calling the "beating the retreat" fellow a two faced imbecile. Wow...I like that connotation. The hyena is smart!
Holding her face, he delicately wipes away the saline waterbody staining her face. He invites her over to our table & speaks in the kindest of tones, gently helping her to regain her composure. His words are like a prophets.
The look in his eyes is gentle, his gait reassuring. I want to strike off the OWL & HYENA from my mental diary. Lets swap it with BEAR. A CUDDLY LOVABLE BEAR...with strange lorgnettes!
Copyright © BuntysBanter 2006
My friend Anchal had set me up on a blind date with this unimaginable piece of human artwork. I frown inwardly & kick myself for relenting. Outwardly a sweet smile pasted in between my ears with the edges of the mouth transfixed, threatening to spill the nausea I'm feeling within.
GOSH! I shall have to struggle to persuade the arms of the clock to jog faster to get away from this loathsome hatesome.
He's stripping me inch by inch. Has decided to do it in a descending order. Hair..eyes...mouth(stares in deep concentration)...lust..neck (fiddles with the mole to check if its real)...errr...T*ts (now the gaze is fixated)...not moving downwards...
This owl is analogous to a hyena at times. Belts of this unique chuckling noises like a hyena thats smelt blood. A snowy owl is generally chatty only during mating season. Omigosh! Owl or hyena? Christ...I'm confused. Lets leave it at that & continue further into the evening.
I'm nervously looking for my ancillary...Anchal. Has she spoofed herself from this evenings rendezvous all knowingly? I ponder seethingly.
The owl cum hyena's pupil's are again on its longitudinal journey downwards.
Hot Coffee? I'm smarting with indignation & plot to spill hot coffee over his pudgy body & escape unscatched.
He says "Yes coffee is fine...COLD COFFEE". Grrrr...there goes my impeccable plan...tossed right into the bin!
To break ice he embarks on a probing quest...the most common topic...favourite movies & before I can answer announces his is "Sholay". Excuse me? Sholay??? Ahem! He's a crossbreed, I decide. And because he's one...he's allowed to have varying choices. Comes with the genes. Hyna...Owl. Owl..hyena..my mind resonates.
Then the dialogue delivery starts. "Arre Oh Sambha, Kitne admi the" I'm feeling squearmish. He ignores any give away signs on my face & further continues with the Mausiji & Basanti dialogues. Someone save me from this verbal diarrhoea.
You B***H! (snarls the guy at the next table at his companion). "Dont ever try to get in touch. I'm through with a S**T like you". Rudely shoving the coffe table to one side, he walks out of the coffee shop.
There is a startled silence punctuated only by the wimpering sobs from the hapless girl.
The hyena jumps up & is on her side now. His arms around this stranger, pacifying her, calling the "beating the retreat" fellow a two faced imbecile. Wow...I like that connotation. The hyena is smart!
Holding her face, he delicately wipes away the saline waterbody staining her face. He invites her over to our table & speaks in the kindest of tones, gently helping her to regain her composure. His words are like a prophets.
The look in his eyes is gentle, his gait reassuring. I want to strike off the OWL & HYENA from my mental diary. Lets swap it with BEAR. A CUDDLY LOVABLE BEAR...with strange lorgnettes!
Copyright © BuntysBanter 2006
posted by Bunty's Banter at 9:16 PM
4 Comments:
Don't u realize the "wimpering...hapless girl" was a setup? She and her brute boyfriend were actors hired by cuddly to make him look chivalrous and win your heart so you would allow him to get inside your pants. So...did you?
Whoever has posted this comment is completely nuts. I think cuddly was a nice guy who was a bit boring but cute.
Hmmmmm.
Mr.Anonymous so tell me how many
hindi movies do you inhale each day. Let me re-phrase that for you "do you only dream about getting your hands down someone's pants " or do you actually work for a living.
Push off , get a life and take your profanity elsewhere. You seem to be one messed up dude. Wassup your girl left you for someone with better balls.
Guys.
Thanks for your comments. Just a request that it would be nice to leave a comment with your name.
Thanks!
Bunty.
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